Follow up on Accountability

A couple weeks ago I posted about a goal I wanted to set in relation to Lizzy.
A reminder of the goal:

Make your home life better. For two weeks make a special effort to strengthen your relationship with a family member by showing love through your actions. Refrain from judging, criticizing, or speaking unkindly, and watch for positive qualities in that family member. Write notes of encouragement, pray for this family member, find ways to be helpful, and verbally express your love. Share your experiences and the divine qualities you’ve discovered with that family member or with a parent or leader.

I know, the blog has been Lizzy-heavy lately. I need to sit down and talk about Emma a lot.
But this post is all about Lizzy, and here's my report.

With the added effort, my home life is better. I'm trying to avoid criticism - correcting actions rather than the person. Face it: a mother must redirect a 4-year old; but speaking unkindly is definitely out... or it should be.
 
Lizzy is full of positive qualities. She wants to please. She is good at identifying patterns and trends. She is loving, forgiving, logical, and fairly reasonable for her age. These are qualities that will mature.
 
She has strong will. She holds to what she believes and focuses on whatever may be her goal or objective. As a parent, I try to redirect her from some objectives - like brownies, movies, teasing, or things that are not part of the current agenda; but once she begins to have goals like a college education, marriage in the temple, relationship with her savior, sports, music, or whatever she will love... that tenacity will prove a great strength.

Last week I was at a medical lab with the girls for some routine blood work for my pregnancy.
We had to wait an hour for the full glucose test to run its course.
Lizzy and Emma were both very good - partly, I think, because I'd been working on this goal for nearly 2 weeks.
My tones are nicer and they are responding better. Lizzy is, I think, more confident in my approval because I've focused on expressing it. It also applies to Emma.
Then, in the little booth at the end when the lab tech was preparing to draw blood, there was another tech there having a conversation. I was trying to direct and verbally control them from my seat when the tech commented, "this is why I don't have kids."
I tried to not let her comment annoy me, but focused on directing the girls who were good and did as I asked... talking and engaging them... reassuring that we were nearly done.
I made a face at the stick of the needle, and Lizzy, wanting to reassure and comfort me, said, "I love you Mommy."
This made me happy, and of course, made both the techs smile. I couldn't resist the comment: "That's why I have kids."

This is not to indicate that I've had total success. I have still lost my temper and behaved badly.
This is my finding though: the blame for any problems with my Lizzy relationship is my blame. I am usually the one to fine fault, to lose patience, or to try to dominate.
Sure, she isn't a mature adult... but what can I expect? she is 4.
She is a terrific 4-year-old.
I love my girl and I'm grateful to learn to be better.